Belonging – pt1

I’ve never felt I belong in this world.  Born with the umbilical cord around my throat. I where blue.
Only seconds differ between my high functioning brain, and a life with severe brain damage due to oxygen deprivation.

You might think such a child would be loved and cherished. My father did, my mother didn’t.
The reality was that she would rather have lost another child, as that would have left her the center of my father’s affection and attention. Getting a healthy, curious, knowledge thirsty daughter didn’t.

Some years later. After my father had died. My mother also made it quite clear that if me dying would have meant father didn’t. She would have chosen that outcome.

So no, from my earliest childhood, I’ve never felt I belong or have a place in this world.



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