Why did you set your self-loathing in my mind
© REDCAT
Why did you set me up to perpetually doubt myself
Why did you set my heart to feeling inherently wrong
Why did you set in me a belief that I’m unworthy of every kindness
Why?
44 word quadrille for Merril’s prompt on dVerse.
This piece is one of those that flow out of my pen instead of tears rolling down my cheeks. Afterwards I feel drained, but also cleansed. Ans sometimes like in this case they lead to follow-up posts.
Ruminations on ~ Lament to my Mother.
The world according to RedCat 
So sad, and i know it’s true ❤️
Thank you! ❤️
All this empathy made me feel compelled to write a long answer; https://redcat.wordpress.com/2019/10/11/ruminations-on-lament-to-my-mother/
So sad. Maybe one day you can work through these questions
Thank you! ❤️
Actually, when it comes to my mother, I’ve done enough therapy years ago to know I wont solve anything with her. (Otherwise I could never have written that poem.) The answer lies in changing me. And that is not always easy.
All this empathy made me feel compelled to write a long answer; https://redcat.wordpress.com/2019/10/11/ruminations-on-lament-to-my-mother/
Oh, that’s so sad. I hope you find peace.
Thank you! ❤️
All this empathy made me feel compelled to write a long answer; https://redcat.wordpress.com/2019/10/11/ruminations-on-lament-to-my-mother/
May you receive many expressions of kindness today.
Thank you! I did, especially in the blogospehere. :-)
All this empathy made me feel compelled to write a long answer; https://redcat.wordpress.com/2019/10/11/ruminations-on-lament-to-my-mother/
Seems a lot of angst to carry in your backpack. For some things there are no answers. Best to let them go. You are your own unique self. You ARE worthy!
Thank you so much! ❤️ That last line. Feeling any kind of worth is one of my biggest struggles. I thought that would go away whey I forgave and gave up on my mother ever wanting talk. But when I’m low enough that’s still an open question in my mind.
All this empathy made me feel compelled to write a long answer; https://redcat.wordpress.com/2019/10/11/ruminations-on-lament-to-my-mother/
This is a powerful lament, and that kind of programming is hard to rewrite — but we can and we must Red!
Thank you! I’d thought I’d rewritten more than this, but being hurt enough brought all the old shit back.
All this empathy made me feel compelled to write a long answer; https://redcat.wordpress.com/2019/10/11/ruminations-on-lament-to-my-mother/
Your emotionally charged poem is asking questions that may have no answers.
Don’t I know it. Or you get the answer, but it dosen’t lead you anywhere at all.
All this empathy made me feel compelled to write a long answer; https://redcat.wordpress.com/2019/10/11/ruminations-on-lament-to-my-mother/
I just read your answer and responded.
This is sad… mothers should be supportive.
Yes, it’s sad, and leaves scars. I try to do differently without going overboard in the other direction.
All this empathy made me feel compelled to write a long answer; https://redcat.wordpress.com/2019/10/11/ruminations-on-lament-to-my-mother/
I have friends who have or had narcissitic and borderline personality mothers. It is so sad. Makes you wonder how they were raised. I am blessed in that I had a loving and supportive mother who died two summers ago.I miss her dreadfully. I hope you learn that it isn’t your fault and that you will be realize you are more than worthy.