My own room with a view

I wonder if anyone still remembers – A Room with a View – the book or the movie. I wonder if I remember it well enough…
Rooms as symbols for society and its constraints. Views symbols for nature and freedom. Meaning rooms with views is a metaphor for being able to choose your own life freely.
I wonder if people still confuse it with – A Room of One’s Own – that classic feminism essay.

But I digress…

For years I had a dream of my own writing-nook. But as most of my dreams it has stayed ethereal through several residences. I’ve never felt the right to push the issue. My worthiness issues you know. And the fact that my writing was spotty and sporadic at best. So it never happened.

I’m trying to get out of this muddle, to cope with my PTSD and current depression, to change my life to something truly good for me. Not just wanting change. But using previous experience to make a plan, or several actually, and taking steps to fulfill those plans. Small steps, one after another, different from how I did before.

So one of my goals became to make myself a nook. And tonight I did. Claimed a corner in the house as mine. Changed everything about it. Put in a big comfy armchair to cuddle up in and write. Some green potted plants just because I like them. Good lighting. Everything I can need within reach. Notebooks, journal, planner, pens, pens, pens. And some candle holders for the ambiance.

When I was done and sat down in my chair. I experienced a sense of accomplishment I normally don’t feel in my private life. And I felt it without constant interruptions from inner negative voices.
There where even some positive ones, but don’t tell anyone. ;-)

So, NO, I sure as hell don’t have all the answers, but what I’m doing now seems to bring positive change, so I’ll keep at it. And keep looking for things I could be doing.

Do you have any suggestions?

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