I can’t believe how fast April has gone. Last year I struggled to write something every day. This year, with the ekphrastic challenge to guide me, the only struggle has been finding enough time to write as much as I’ve wanted. Some days I’ve even written and posted more than one poem. Will sit myself down to reflect and praise myself this weekend, and think about where to go from here. The praising part is one that I have real struggle with, normally I discredit my work and move on to the next thing. So will endeavour to change that this time.
The last ekphrastic poem became another Spenserian sonnet, with the linked rhyme scheme of ABAB BCBC CDCD EE.
I had to laugh a bit when I wrote it. I’ve stayed away from trying the Spenserian one because I thought the Shakesperian ones were hard enough. But it turns out the linked rhyme scheme, reminiscent of Terza Rima suits me much better.
Actually really pleased with this one. Feels like ending GloPoWriMo on a strong note.
Monday’s Haibun prompt, telling us to focus our writing on the present moment made me realise deep in my bones how much I (once again) lost my meditation practice and need to regain it. So a little walk tonight in the twilight to breathe and collect my thoughts after a busy day. And as always when I manage to do that words spill out of me demanding to be written. Another reason to get back on the meditation track.
I have not altered the light, in either picture, that is Swedish spring twilight. The first one cherry blossoms shortly before nine pm yesterday. The other was taken down by the water about two months ago.
This is my fourth Sonnet in April. And my first ever Spenserian sonnet, which has a linked rhyme scheme of ABAB BCBC CDCD EE.
I still feel sonnet’s are harder than some other forms, or I’m more intimidated by them. Due to their Shakespearean connection. Meaning I feel like a novice poet like myself has less right to venture into such prominent territory. Such are the silly traps my mind makes for itself. I mean I have no problem venturing into other classical forms.
This is the first time the pentameter felt natural and not overly forced, although keeping all the feets iambic still eludes me. I also had an instructive fun time reading up on the Great Comets of 1811 and 1819. Especially the first of those, that was visible to the naked eye for 260 days must have been a real marvel. Leaving many impressions in culture, for example in William Blake’s miniature painting The Ghost of a Flea(below).
Somewhere in the golden dusk a tawny owl calls From another direction wooden wind chimes makes a dull sound Over at the pub there’s cherry voices Comforting homely noises I lean against the ancient stone wall Exhaustion pulling me to the ground I’m just gonna rest my eyes for a minute
~I’m awakened by a trumpet~
Over the hill comes the crest of a centurions helmet The air fills with the sound of marching feet The rattle and clang of weapons and armour I scramble for my bow and arrows They fill the air like a flock of sparrows The romans have come to another tribe uprising meet Certain their might will make them the victors
likes drawing and painting children, animals, landscapes and food. She specialises in watercolour, mixed media, coloured pencil, lino cut and print, textile design. Jane can help you out with adobe indesign for your layout needs, photoshop and adobe illustrator. She graduated with a ba(hons) design from Glasgow School of art, age 20.
She has exhibited with the rsw at the national gallery of Scotland, SSA, Knock Castle Gallery, Glasgow Group, Paisley Art Institute, MacMillan Exhibition at Bonhams, Edinburgh, The House For An Art Lover, Pittenweem Arts Festival, Compass Gallery, The Revive Show, East Linton Art Exhibition and Strathkelvin Annual Art Exhibition.
Her website is: https://www.janecornwell.co.uk/
“Am 68. Live in Mexborough. Retired teacher. Artist; musician; poet. Recently included in ‘Viral Verses’ poetry volume. Married. 2 kids; 3 grandkids.”
Always felt other and wrong Never truly felt like I belong Never felt unencumbered and free Allowed to just be me Perpetual cycles of pain and abuse Always guessing which persona mask to use Living with nagging doubt, maybe I’m just insane
~Can a diagnosis everything explain~
Help me to equilibrium gain Teach me what I need to know To at functioning life have a go Give me hope of fitting in Break my minds eternal tailspin Show me how to reach good mental health Allow me to fully use my minds idea wealth
Sitting here wondering if I really dare to post this. Afraid to expose myself. Afraid to overshare. Afraid to be rejected once more. At the same time feeling like I need to share how much upheaval there is right now. And why.
I’ve had bouts of depression on and off through life. And I’ve been told to view them and every other issue as stemming from the abuse I’ve gone through. That my struggles depend on that only and if I can somehow overcome them I will be as everyone else.
Cue a new psychologist.
Who started to ask questions I’ve never got before. Who administered not just the really short screening tests (that apparently typically don’t catch female sufferers) but longer fuller tests that screen for Adhd/Add and Autism spectrum disorder. The last months have been test upon test. There are a few left but the first of the two is by now a given, the second one in some kind of high functioning way very probable.
I don’t know how to feel about either. And I don’t know if it will really help in any practical way.