Some nights are special The magic lantern is lit Walking the streets and boroughs Takes an otherworldly turn Nightlife eddies and flows Bright lights shine Deep shadows rule Travellers, revellers Societies invisibles In the diffuse glow of the lantern The human worlds most shadowy existences gleam
I’m an avid walker and like long rambles trough cities, towns and all manner of nature. For years I had the habit of “getting lost” on purpose. Meaning take as many new and unknown turn as possible towards a knowngoal. This has lead to many lovely walks, discoveries and inspiration. So I do it as often as I can.
I tend to be a bit like that when reading on the web. The other day I read an article about Charles Dickens and the emergence of modern Christmas celebrations in Britain and elsewhere. I found an exhibit in London to visit, read more about Dickens and his Christmases. And about his habit for rambling night walks. There I found my inspiration in an essay called Night Walks, “based on his moonlit rambles through the capital’s streets”.
The last weeks I’ve been struggling with if it’s right to write in a time like this. After much thought and meditation on the subject. Instead I decided to trow myself into writing and sharing. Poetry, my meditation and compassion mind training journey, some prose, and small things that put a smile on my face or brightens the day.
This weeks eartweal prompt had to do with finding hope. And even though my mind keeps spinning around the subject in all its forms, nothing coalesce and really takes shape. More work required obviously, not only on the poetry, but on my inner ability to feel hope.
To distract myself I searched for hope in my previous poetry and found some insights. Hope is a recurring theme of mine, I’ve even written a hopeful mantra. And judging by the comments others find hope in my pieces.
If I’m honest, some days I feel in desperate need of the smallest spark of hope, so I put hope in my poetry precisely because that is one of the things I seek.
By now, I’m meditating and doing breath-work on a level I never have before. It’s rough, as meditation have always been for me. I’ve cried rivers every day. And one thing have become abundantly clear. The old inner safe place I actually once had is in total ruin. I have no access anymore, it’s like I’m looking at reproduction in a display cabinet in a museum.
Even so, while pondering which approach to therapy they might grant me. They asked if I’d participate in group Compassion-focused therapy (CFT). And I said yes, so now I’ll do eight weeks of CFT. So far, beyond trying to explain our emotion regulation systems, it’s mostly been light meditation and breath work. Which stand as inspiration for this piece.
I’ll be back to the subject of compassion and CFT later.
This weeks earthweal prompt has to do with finding hope. And even though my mind keeps spinning around the subject in all its forms, nothing coalesce and really takes shape. More work required obviously. So instead I wrote about what helps me feel hope right now, which is meditation and breath-work.