Tag: Loneliness

Solitude and I (2020 Re-post)

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Abandoned and abused, I grew to fear you
But in truth, I where reared by you

Bullied as other, ostracized by my peers
Alone with daily jeers, leers and snears
Childhood and adolescence, year after year
Branding me as strange and queer

Yours the only company to keep me near
Convincing me I’m a mere shadow
Not really alive, not supposed to be here

Developed intimate knowledge of all your tiers
As loneliness you have tooth and claws that tear
Lead chains that trust steer
Forged by every untruth spear
Betrayal heart and soul sear
Invisible barriers separating, from those you hold dear

Dark lonely nights your visits I fear
Haunted hours filled with tears
Leaving me hollow and sheer
As pale dawn washes the heavens clear

After becoming a mother, I’ve started to befriend you, we’re
Old pals, whatever the history, that’s clear
Nowadays I even hold our moments dear
Filled with new knowledge, hope and trust
I’ll never again from my own side veer

All that I seek
I can find within my own heart soul sphere

© REDCAT
Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

Re-post comment:

Loneliness has been much on my mind and in my feelings the last couple of weeks. Both the kind is need and seek. And the kind that can make me feel wholly alone in a room full of people.

So this poem is this week’s archive find.

Enjoy!

This piece where not something I wished to write, but perhaps needed to write, as whatever I thought about the subject solitude – that I express both it and loneliness quite often – got drowned out by this piece rhymes running in loops in my mind.

In the prompt Björn writes;
In today’s situation of social distancing, we all have taken a crash course in loneliness, and when learning to cope. Today I would like you to write about your own experience with how you find strength in solitude or how you still struggle with loneliness.

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There’s A Rumor – MLMM, Wordle 251

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

There’s a rumor among the critics and saboteurs in my head
Petrifying my scarred heart
Running icy tendrils down my neck
Designed to make the little girl inside all verklempt

Because the paralysing nightshade poison of the rumor has been proven true
This girl has never been like the neurotypical you

Ostracization and isolation leaves wounds in our energetic bodies
Removing peel by peel of everything you thought true
Providing constant suction on the life force
Until it’s so low, you start thinking death is a viable option

But don’t jump off that bridge just yet
No life’s fate is in stone set
Hidden among the neurodiversity are your secret weapons
An armory full to keep you safe whatever happens

©RedCat
Photo by Katrina Wright on Unsplash

Written for Wordle #251 at Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie

Suction
Death
Bridge
Petrify
Nightshade
Neck
Peel
Weapon
Little
Bodies
Rumor
Verklempt- overly emotional and unable to speak.

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

I’ve touched upon this before. Both with hints and straight out like in, Another Piece of the Puzzle – A Puente Poem. I apparently have Adhd/Add and ASD/AST.

Some days it makes me furiously angry to be diagnosed this late in life, due to the fact that I’m female and do not fit typically into either diagnosis. Other days I feel immensely sad for the little girl who never understood at all why she couldn’t fit in however much she tried.

Some days it feels like a brand forever excluding me from friendship and love. Other days I realize a lot of my strengths stem from my neurodiversity. My very quick witted mind which others both adore and dislike. My propensity for thinking very deeply about things, which has enabled me to write insightful business reports and papers and allows me to write poetry that touches the hearts of others.

Wrote this to allow myself and others the knowledge that the struggle is real. But that each of us have value and worth. And all of us are deserving to be loved for those we are!

If you yourself are struggling, or know someone who is. Encourage them to get help. To talk to someone. Or drop a line to me either in the comment section or to the mail address you’ll find in the about page.

Photo by HalGatewood.com on Unsplash
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Tears Out Of The Eyes Of A Doll – A Trimeric Poem

Tears out of the eyes of a doll
Thrown out, forgotten and forsaken
Feeling unloved, abandoned and small
Life no longer by touch awakened

Thrown out, forgotten and forsaken
No longer cared for at all
Left cold and weather beaten

Feeling unloved, abandoned and small
Laying ditched and shunned
Lost in better times recall

Life no longer by touch awakened
Waiting for eternal darkness to fall
Brings tears out of the eyes of a doll

©RedCat

Written for this week’s Sunday Muse. 

Written in the Trimeric form, with a rhyme scheme of Abab bab aba baA, where a capital denotes a repeated line.

Photo by Boudewijn Huysmans on Unsplash

Also shared to Promote Yourself Mondays at GO DOG GO CAFÉ.

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Shadow People Before My Eyes – A Triple Triolet, April Ekphrastic Challenge

Kerfe Roig

Shadow people before my eyes
Drifting aimlessly through their lives
Foggy as rainy crying skies
Shadow people before my eyes
Fading as sorrow’s darkness rise
Remembering just negatives
Shadow people before my eyes
Drifting aimlessly through their lives

Nobody holds then as they cry
No one a kind helping hand gives
Sorrow without friends multiply
Nobody holds then as they cry
Nobody these souls fortify
They are dark depressions captives
Nobody holds then as they cry
No one a kind helping hand gives

Shadow people before my eyes
What can get then to see bright life
Fading away ‘til their souls dies
Shadow people before my eyes
Unable to see the blue skies
Lost without finding hope inside
Shadow people before my eyes
What can get then to see bright life

©RedCat

I’m half a month early, but this one is written for Mental Health Awareness Month. A way to show that there are a lot of people out there who suffer from depression, and do so thinking and feeling they are all alone. Because that is part of how depression works, isolating us from the rest of the world.

But you are not alone! There is help to get!

For many there are loved ones that would like nothing better than to give help, support and love. And if you don’t have loved ones who care, there is support and help to get, from others who have suffered as you do and from professionals.
But you have to reach out or open up just a little bit for them to know you need help. And that I know from personal experience is not always an easy thing.

Writing a triple triolet as in Trapped, Imprisoned In Her Own Mind, was so fun and challenging enough that I just had to do it again. Because that way it feels like you get a chance to make the triolet go somewhere and not just be a repetitive poem stuck in one place.

To see all art and read all poetry for today go to The Wombwell Rainbow.

Patrick Hendry on Unsplash
Kerfe Roig

A resident of New York City, Kerfe Roig enjoys transforming words and images into something new.  Her poetry and art have been featured online by Right Hand Pointing, Silver Birch Press, Yellow Chair Review, The song is…, Pure Haiku, Visual Verse, The Light Ekphrastic, Scribe Base, The Zen Space, and The Wild Word, and published in Ella@100, Incandescent Mind, Pea River Journal, Fiction International: Fool, Noctua Review, The Raw Art Review, and several Nature Inspired anthologies. Follow her explorations on her blogs, https://methodtwomadness.wordpress.com/  (which she does with her friend Nina), and https://kblog.blog/, and see more of her work on her website http://kerferoig.com/

April Ekphrastic Challenge – GloPoWriMo 2021

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On the Edge

Trigger warning!
Photo by Spencer Selover from Pexels

Constantly shifting and parrying
One small misstep
Is all it takes to fall
When you are
On the edge

A thin line betwixt darknesses
The only light tread
In this weave of nightmares
Bright hope is scarce
When you are
On the edge

Unending battles and skirmishes
No path to ceasefire
Scraped raw, skinless
When you are clinging
To a sharp edge

Trapped in loops of the past
Shackled by demons
No space to break free
When you are balancing
On the edge

Blind to joy, trust, peace
Deaf to caring words and hearts
Mute the screams, silence the tears, hide the pain
Drowning in a well of sadness
Unable to reach out or be reached
When you are living
On the edge

©RedCat

Written for myself and others I care for. Who like me is battling depression, old trauma wounds and mental health issues.

I wanted to share how it feels to live on that edge. When the edge is all there seems to be. When there is no light on the horizon. That’s why there’s a trigger warning. Because from that place you don’t feel hope. Can’t imagine a happy ending.

Another poem about edges I written is – After.

Photo by Tom Verdoot from Pexels

Shared with dVerse — Poetics — Edges and Fringes.

Where tonight’s mission, should we choose to accept it, is to spark on one of these paths:

  1. Write a poem using the word edge;
  2. Write a poem that keeps Millikin’s question above in mind.
  3. Write a poem using the word fringe;
  4. Write a poem from the fringe, however you define it.

Obviously I choose number 1.

Photo by Daniela Constantini from Pexels
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Nightmare Storms – A Villanelle –Ekprastic Challenge, January 30

Kerfe Roig – The Heat Breaks

In her dark mind towering thunderheads
Better to break than to abuse conform
Sparkling dreams and fragile dreams beaten dead

No pink dawn breaking to be seen ahead
The sky full of bruised clouds aching to storm
In her dark mind towering thunderheads

Starved, strangled passion bleeding out blood-red
No space for dreams outside the prescribed norm
Sparkling dreams and fragile dreams beaten dead

Clinging to sanity by a thin thread
Stuck screaming unheard in protective form
In her dark mind towering thunderheads

Trapped in a black vortex of clawing dread
Demons, nightmares and evil spirits swarm
Sparkling dreams and fragile dreams beaten dead

Shivering cold in a lonely blue bed
Dreaming of being held in embrace warm
In her dark mind towering thunderheads
Sparkling dreams and fragile dreams beaten dead

©RedCat

The form is a Villanelle in pentameter, meaning five feet per line. And although it has niteen lines (thirteen unique ones) it has only two rhyme sounds.
For me the easiest way to denote this is – A1bA2 abA1 abA2 abA1 abA2 abA1A2

I confess to some extra dark and hopeless days recently, but even so, I’m grateful to be able to say it was a long time – as in years and years – since I was in such a bad place.

I just have private reasons for wanting to help someone else expressing the same kind of bad place.

Read all poems and see all poems at The Wombwell Rainbow.

Also posted to OLN at dVerse – The Poets Pub.

Kerfe Roig

A resident of New York City, Kerfe Roig enjoys transforming words and images into something new.  Her poetry and art have been featured online by Right Hand Pointing, Silver Birch Press, Yellow Chair Review, The song is…, Pure Haiku, Visual Verse, The Light Ekphrastic, Scribe Base, The Zen Space, and The Wild Word, and published in Ella@100, Incandescent Mind, Pea River Journal, Fiction International: Fool, Noctua Review, The Raw Art Review, and several Nature Inspired anthologies. Follow her explorations on her blogs, https://methodtwomadness.wordpress.com/  (which she does with her friend Nina), and https://kblog.blog/, and see more of her work on her website http://kerferoig.com/
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Longing by the Moon – 22 December

Photo by luizclas from Pexels

The crescent moon is sickle sharp
Like the distance keeping us apart
Then she grows, still we’re seeing her from distant shores
Separated from the one we adore

The warm, golden half-moon
Makes us long for passionate afternoons
Then she fills, lockdown alarm shrills
While we freeze as loneliness chills

The full moon, glistening on frost
Reminding of all that’s lost
Then she fades, taking light and hope away
Spring, a made up, unreachable someday

©RedCat
©RedCat

1 December – Advent Calendar 2020
Waiting a Long December Night – 2 December 2020
Glow – 3 December (2019 Re-Post)
Birth Echoes Through Time – 4 December
Golden Dawn Of A New Year – 5 December
Night Walks – 6 December (2019 Re-post)
Spirit of the season – 7 December (2019 Re-post)
Searching For A Way – 8 December
Surrender Sky-clad to the Moon – 9 December
Tomten Wonders – A Golden Shovel Poem Inspired by Viktor Rydberg, 10 December
Midwinter Love – A Landay Poem, 11 December (2019 Re-post)
Cold Moon – 12 December (2019 Re-post)
Saint Lucia – 13 December (2019 Re-post)
Inglenook Dreams – 14 December
Dark moon of the crone – 15 December (2019 Re-post)
Gothic Christmas Carol – 16 December
Love Me, Accept Me, Hold Me – Affirmation poem, 17 December
Mnemosyne visits – 18 December (2019 Re-post)
Yule Angst – A Villanelle Song by Kmt47 feat RedCat, 19 December
Girl Blue – A Love Song, 20 December
Solstice prayer – 21 December (2019 Re-post)
Longing by the Moon – 22 December
Moon Madness – A Acrostic Poem, 23 December
Gift Rhymes – 24 December (2019 Re-post)

Pixabay
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