I’ve spent most of my time today with text analysis in preparation for the first of two different study group meetings tomorrow. And I feel a bit strange picking another’s text to pieces, finding good parts but also parts to criticize. I’ve done it with classics before. But never with a text the author will sit right there hearing my thoughts.
I feel like a villain. And I want to run and hide. Tomorrow will be… interesting. Nervous and tender. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. And I wonder how it will feel getting my own text analysed.
It’s been raining on and off all day. With a few splashes of sunlight in between. It’s still fairly warm, but autumn is lurking around the edges. Small changes is leaf colour. A chill in morning and late night air. The migratory birds is busy eating all they can before they fly off. Most bumblebees, bees and wasps are gone. Occasionally there’s a butterfly to be seen. We’re in the betwixt and between weeks. When one season is being changed for another.
Tonight my heart is filled with hope and excitement. Kind encouraging words have made me doubt my ability a little less. And I feel excited over what kind of adventures the writing assignments will lead me into.
Getting emails about the student discount card, and applying for student grants. It’s finally starting to sink in. For the coming year I’ll be a student of creative writing. The idea still blows my mind. Who? Me! That cant be true… Except it is.
I sent out my applications and text samples and in the end got accepted too so many of them I had to choose which ones I thought suited me best. It’s felt unreal and mind-boggling. And my inner critics and saboteurs have made everything they can to try to discount the significance of what that means. But my passion for writing shines brighter then them, and I’ll be damned if I ever again let then scare me into not attempting something I want very much.
It will mean less time for participating in writing prompts and blogging. Although I can’t see myself quit writing poetry as often as possible. I’ll keep you updated on what’s going on, and when time allows share what I learn and write.
The deep blue sky is filled with a golden harvest moon. Filling my heart with joy. Calming my whirlwind mind. Making me draw deeper calmer breaths. Filling my imagination with energy that let’s imagination take flight. Blessing me with seeds of dreams to cultivate tonight.
Today, for the first time since the pandemic started I’ve made travel plans. Not abroad, just another city. But by now that feels like a grand adventure. To add to the excitement I’ll get to meet new people. The others in one of my creative writing classes. Right now I feel as giddy and nervous as the first time I went on a longer trip alone. It’s surprising how quickly, I mean it’s just under two years, I went from one traveling frequently to one totally home bound.