It’s still and dark outside
No traffic in sight
Only the early morning birds
Sing predawn lullabies
No-one is more than half awake
Still dreaming in bed© RedCat
Tomorrow is the last day of school. And the children are giddy with anticipation. Getting them to bed has been an unusual hard task. The fact that the sun is still streaming through the windows doesn’t help. “-But it’s not night yet!” Has been an argument since they were big enough to talk.
Running around today getting everything in order for tomorrow. I have remembered my own summer anticipation as a child. Dressing up in new summer clothes. Giving and getting bouquets of flowers. The seemingly eternal summer holiday before us.
Summertime is here
Bathing, reading, sleeping late
Lazy days are near
In Sweden school has only two terms, an autumn and spring one. Leaving ten whole weeks for summer. I’ve been told more than once it harks back to when Sweden was still a country with mostly farmers. Meaning they needed the children as workers during the summer and the early harvest. Nowadays it mostly means parents with four weeks of summer leave have to figure out how to juggle work and kids. It also means “after school care” is available for most of the summer for those that need it. Still working from home due to the pandemic, we’ll have to juggle.
It’s been a busy day. Yet in the back of my mind are questions of summer. For the second year running there are no big holiday plans. Just smaller day outings loosely planned for when and if the pandemic permits. I really hope the warm weather and vaccinations will make a difference and we will be able to do at least some things.
But mostly I’m thinking about writing. Should I write more? Or should I write less? (Meaning only when inspiration strikes.) Should I try to develop an even more structured writing habit? Should I take some time off blogging and try to write something aimed at submitting for publication?
Do any of the above questions matter as I’ll have two kids at home all summer?!?
I also long for some extra time to read. Poetry, fiction and nonfiction.
Does anyone have some interesting book tips for books I just have to read?
Writing and reading
Nourishes my mind and soul
Always felt other and wrong
Never truly felt like I belong
Never felt unencumbered and free
Allowed to just be me
Perpetual cycles of pain and abuse
Always guessing which persona mask to use
Living with nagging doubt, maybe I’m just insane
~Can a diagnosis everything explain~
Help me to equilibrium gain©RedCat
Teach me what I need to know
To at functioning life have a go
Give me hope of fitting in
Break my minds eternal tailspin
Show me how to reach good mental health
Allow me to fully use my minds idea wealth
Sitting here wondering if I really dare to post this. Afraid to expose myself. Afraid to overshare. Afraid to be rejected once more. At the same time feeling like I need to share how much upheaval there is right now. And why.
I’ve had bouts of depression on and off through life. And I’ve been told to view them and every other issue as stemming from the abuse I’ve gone through. That my struggles depend on that only and if I can somehow overcome them I will be as everyone else.
Cue a new psychologist.
Who started to ask questions I’ve never got before. Who administered not just the really short screening tests (that apparently typically don’t catch female sufferers) but longer fuller tests that screen for Adhd/Add and Autism spectrum disorder. The last months have been test upon test. There are a few left but the first of the two is by now a given, the second one in some kind of high functioning way very probable.
I don’t know how to feel about either. And I don’t know if it will really help in any practical way.
I’m still me, as I’ve always been.
Will this alter others’ perspective of me?
Rhyme scheme: aabbccd d deeffgg
Tomorrow is first of April, the beginning of Easter, or Ostara if you’re so inclined. It’s also the first day of Global Poetry Writing Month. I participated last year without knowing what I got myself into.
I managed to write 30 poems with some help from my favourite writing community site’s.
This year I have actually planned a bit ahead. Thinking over which sites gives the prompts that inspires me most. And signing up for another Ekprastic Challenge.
You’ll find me writing to art at The Wombwell Rainbow, to the always inspiring Skyloverswordlist, my poetry home at dVerse Poet’s Pub, and perhaps also The Sunday Muse, Poet’s and Storytellers United and Earthweal.
See you at the poetry trail! 💕
Heart speeds, thunder in my ears.
Stomach knot’s, getting queasy. Flee, get out of here.
Breaths shallow, fast. Dizziness on top of fear.
Mind panic, doubt rises. Saying no one really wants your words to hear.
Slowly nervousness and stage fright clears.©RedCat
No one except the one in the spotlight knows how much you’ve had to fight yourself to get on stage, or in front of the camera.
And even the most confident looking person might have doubts. I surely do everytime I step in the spotlight, even if you can’t see or hear it.
For example. I was sure my voice would be trembling and so fast you couldn’t hear a thing last Thursday’s Open Link Live. But that, like the doubts and nervousness was only on the inside of my mind.
Anyone else getting a bit jittery while reading their own poetry?
Written for tonight’s Quadrille prompt at dVerse. And the word tonight is knot.
Read other Quadrille’s by me here.
Tonight not a poem or flash fiction from me. Instead I’ll share another form of writing challenge with you all!
Since 2018 I’ve been involved in a project called #WikiGap. The project aims at getting more WOMEN and HBTQIA people to participate in writing and editing Wikipedia articles.
#WikiGap invites broad and diverse participation, and allows for local adaptations to the overall theme of closing the gender gap and other gaps relevant for diversity on Wikipedia.Wikimedia
So go to your language version of Wikipedia and look for persons relevant to an encyclopedia.
If you can’t find an article – write one!
Especially if the person has articles in other language versions.
The bar for being considered relevant differs from each language version, so be sure to read your own.
And if you don’t know how to register, edit or write new articles. Leave a comment or email me and I will help you find tutorials or other sources on how to write on wikipedia.
Have a good night all!
Music have always been a big part of my life. I’m one of those “sing before I could talk, dance before I could walk” people.
I know this is evident in my writing, and still I’ve felt music is largely missing from my blog. Only Yule Angst, a really chaotic, crazy, depressive poem have been set to music, and sung.
For a while I played with the idea of reviewing music. But I’m often not current enough. And truth be told often totally uninterested in the release of the week.
So instead I decided to once a week share a song that one way or another have touched me recently.
My first Saturday Song is Fake a Smile by Alan Walker and salem ilese. A tune I’ve played, and sung along to, on repeat the last week’s.
And the text really hit home…
“I fake a smile, but I know you know me too well”
“I try to turn off my mind
Say I’m doing just fine
But I’m screaming inside like (Oh)
Say these words on repeat
While I’m tryin’ to breathe
Now you’re counting on me”
Hope you all have a good weekend!