Daily Haibun, August 4th – Whisper and Echoes


My mind is full of whispers and echoes. One inner saboteur saying an unkind nearly true thing. The rest of the choir chiming in with their own versions. Until it’s a cacophony swirling around.

It’s been like this as long as I can remember. I both long for and dread achievements. For they start such storms inside. Such deep self-doubt and loathing. I never learned to feel a sense of accomplishment. I never got told anything was good enough. I was always found lacking.

I’ve done my darnedest best to ignore this for most of my life. But that have made it louder not made it go away. I’ve met with derision when I tried to talk about it. Who doesn’t take pride in achievements?

Going forward I know, my mind and feelings are the biggest hurdles to overcome. The most likely thing to trip me up is ME.

But I’m done being ashamed of having learnt to be ashamed of everything about myself. And those that can’t handle that is no friends of mine.

A storm is brewing

Dark clouds roiling and rumbling

Waiting for a spark

© RedCat



Read other Haibun’s written for the monthly dVerse prompt by me here.

Read other Daily Haibun’s here.


August Approaches – A Puente Poem


As August approaches,

in a golden sweltering haze

Impostor-syndrom encroaches,

trapping in this self-loathing maze

I’ve lived here for ages,

familiar with its confounding ways

Seen my dreams turn to ashes,

evaporate as hopelessness blaze

~ I’ve made new choices,

now can I the changes face ~

As August approaches,

in golden sweltering haze

Thoughts of breaking free encroaches,

I have to burn this thorny self-doubt gorse maze

Learn and evolve as I ages,

find new self-caring and nurturing ways

I will rise from the ashes,

remade by this creative blaze

©RedCat

Flowers Hermitage in Winter from Wikimedia Commons

I should be asleep, but can’t because all thoughts swirling. Realized after reading others poetry, that writing the turmoil out probably where a better way than watching tv.

So sat by candlelight, watching the moon and poured it on paper.

Written for First Line Friday over at Mindlovemisery Menagerie.


Stechginster Blaetter from Wikimedia Commons

Daily Haibun, June 9th – Spinning In Circles

Photo by Fred Moon on Unsplash

My mind is running itself ragged in circles of surprised joy and deep self doubt.
I made it! Can I? What if I fail? I got accepted! Should I? What if I don’t succeed? Over, and over, and over again.
Until it’s hard to know which way is which. Until it’s damn near impossible to make a choice.
Until I just want to flee until the opportunity is lost and forgotten.

A trapped animal
Running in endless circles
Finding no way out

©RedCat


Read other Haibun’s written for the monthly dVerse prompt by me here.

Read other Daily Haibun’s here.


Photo by beasty . on Unsplash

On the Cusp of a Dream Achieved (2020 Re-post)

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Re-post comment:

This Pantoum sums up the way I’ve been feeling for a couple of weeks now. Again achieving things I long for and dream about sends me into a tailspin of deep self doubt, shame and anxiety. So I thought it fitting to make this the archive find for this week.



On the cusp of a dream achieved
Truth of inner worth freed
Bone deep self doubt revealed
Planted with every unmet need

Truth of inner worth freed
A girl bred to never succeed
Planted with every unmet need
She never learnt how to receive

A girl bred to never succeed
A light shone where kind self-love breeds
She never learnt how to receive
Sorrow joy supersede

A light shone where kind self-love breeds
Bone deep self doubt revealed
Sorrow joy supersede
On the cusp of a dream achieved

© REDCAT

I refuse to let my current depressive slide stop my writing. So today I sat down to see if I could write a poem about my truth, my life, and the added stress that accounts for the current mood.

I long known I self-sabotage and have trouble receiving positive praise, but I didn’t know it ran this deep. I thought sending the submissions out where the struggle. The last weeks have shown me, that success and actually achieving a lifelong dream, with grace and real joy, is the real struggle and it’s only just begun.

This is one of my favorite linked forms, a pantoum.

My process for writing a pantoum goes something like this…

The pattern is ABCD, BEDF, EGFH, GCHA. Since line A and C becomes both the start and end I usually write the first and last stanza, then the middle ones.

Also shared to dVerse’s Open Link Night.


Photo by ready made on Pexels.com

Another Piece of the Puzzle – A Puente Poem


Always felt other and wrong
Never truly felt like I belong
Never felt unencumbered and free
Allowed to just be me
Perpetual cycles of pain and abuse
Always guessing which persona mask to use
Living with nagging doubt, maybe I’m just insane

~Can a diagnosis everything explain~

Help me to equilibrium gain
Teach me what I need to know
To at functioning life have a go
Give me hope of fitting in
Break my minds eternal tailspin
Show me how to reach good mental health
Allow me to fully use my minds idea wealth

©RedCat

Sitting here wondering if I really dare to post this. Afraid to expose myself. Afraid to overshare. Afraid to be rejected once more. At the same time feeling like I need to share how much upheaval there is right now. And why. 

I’ve had bouts of depression on and off through life. And I’ve been told to view them and every other issue as stemming from the abuse I’ve gone through. That my struggles depend on that only and if I can somehow overcome them I will be as everyone else. 

Cue a new psychologist.

Who started to ask questions I’ve never got before. Who administered not just the really short screening tests (that apparently typically don’t catch female sufferers) but longer fuller tests that screen for Adhd/Add and Autism spectrum disorder. The last months have been test upon test. There are a few left but the first of the two is by now a given, the second one in some kind of high functioning way very probable.

I don’t know how to feel about either. And I don’t know if it will really help in any practical way.


I’m still me, as I’ve always been. 

Will this alter others’ perspective of me?


Written in the Puente form for tonight’s Poetics: Build a Bridge at dVerse. 

Rhyme scheme: aabbccd d deeffgg


Restless Body and Mind


Restless body and mind
Failing to restfulness find
Forever this anxious merry-go-round
Will peace and quiet ever be found

©RedCat

A short little piece to end the week. To express how it feels to live with a mind always going on maximum speed. That thinks on and evaluates everything from every possible, unlikely and down right impossible angle. That doesn’t slow down even when both body and mind are exhausted. It just gets more far fetched and scattered. 

Sometimes meditating works, often it doesn’t. Instead just cropping up new things to throw in the mix. Far from all thoughts are anxious, but when it spins that fast sooner or later stress and anxiety creeps in. 

Inspired by this week’s weekend writing prompt from Sammi Cox.


Shadow People Before My Eyes – A Triple Triolet, April Ekphrastic Challenge

Kerfe Roig

Shadow people before my eyes
Drifting aimlessly through their lives
Foggy as rainy crying skies
Shadow people before my eyes
Fading as sorrow’s darkness rise
Remembering just negatives
Shadow people before my eyes
Drifting aimlessly through their lives

Nobody holds then as they cry
No one a kind helping hand gives
Sorrow without friends multiply
Nobody holds then as they cry
Nobody these souls fortify
They are dark depressions captives
Nobody holds then as they cry
No one a kind helping hand gives

Shadow people before my eyes
What can get then to see bright life
Fading away ‘til their souls dies
Shadow people before my eyes
Unable to see the blue skies
Lost without finding hope inside
Shadow people before my eyes
What can get then to see bright life

©RedCat

I’m half a month early, but this one is written for Mental Health Awareness Month. A way to show that there are a lot of people out there who suffer from depression, and do so thinking and feeling they are all alone. Because that is part of how depression works, isolating us from the rest of the world.

But you are not alone! There is help to get!

For many there are loved ones that would like nothing better than to give help, support and love. And if you don’t have loved ones who care, there is support and help to get, from others who have suffered as you do and from professionals.
But you have to reach out or open up just a little bit for them to know you need help. And that I know from personal experience is not always an easy thing.


Writing a triple triolet as in Trapped, Imprisoned In Her Own Mind, was so fun and challenging enough that I just had to do it again. Because that way it feels like you get a chance to make the triolet go somewhere and not just be a repetitive poem stuck in one place.

To see all art and read all poetry for today go to The Wombwell Rainbow.


Kerfe Roig

A resident of New York City, Kerfe Roig enjoys transforming words and images into something new.  Her poetry and art have been featured online by Right Hand PointingSilver Birch PressYellow Chair ReviewThe song is…Pure HaikuVisual VerseThe Light EkphrasticScribe BaseThe Zen Space, and The Wild Word, and published in Ella@100Incandescent MindPea River JournalFiction International: Fool, Noctua Review, The Raw Art Review, and several Nature Inspired anthologies. Follow her explorations on her blogs, https://methodtwomadness.wordpress.com/  (which she does with her friend Nina), and https://kblog.blog/, and see more of her work on her website http://kerferoig.com/

April Ekphrastic Challenge – GloPoWriMo 2021

Trapped, Imprisoned In Her Own Mind – A Triple Triolet, April Ekphrastic Challenge

Jane Cornwell

Trapped, imprisoned in her own mind
Behind bars of her own making
She can only watch others shine
Trapped, imprisoned in her own mind
Unable to a way out find
Left lonely, cold, soul heart aching
Trapped, imprisoned in her own mind
Behind bars of her own making

To love she’s rendered deaf and blind
Unable to hope awaken
Convinced she’s by abuse defined
To love she’s rendered deaf and blind
In fear and sorrow she’s enshrined
Who will tell her she’s mistaken
To love she’s rendered deaf and blind
Unable to hope awaken

Love and trust will the bars unbind
Hope gives strength to a new path make
If she finds souls that’s truly kind
Love and trust will the bars unbind
When she sees how star bright she shines
Her light strength can all shackles break
Love and trust will the bars unbind
Hope gives strength to a new path make

©RedCat

A triolet is only eight lines after all, or five unique ones due to the repetition.
So why not weave more than one together. And since trio means three a triple seemed suiting. 

This poem can be viewed as a companion to yesterday’s poem, although this one would proceed Mind Finds Soul Fearlessly Shines. Happening before she finds her own star bright light and strength.

To see all art and read all poems for today, go to The Wombwell Rainbow.

Read other Triolet’s by me here.

Jane Cornwell


likes drawing and painting children, animals, landscapes and food. She specialises in watercolour, mixed media, coloured pencil, lino cut and print, textile design. Jane can help you out with adobe indesign for your layout needs, photoshop and adobe illustrator. She graduated with a ba(hons) design from Glasgow School of art, age 20.

She has exhibited with the rsw at the national gallery of Scotland, SSA, Knock Castle Gallery, Glasgow Group, Paisley Art Institute, MacMillan Exhibition at Bonhams, Edinburgh, The House For An Art Lover, Pittenweem Arts Festival, Compass Gallery, The Revive Show, East Linton Art Exhibition and Strathkelvin Annual Art Exhibition.

Her website is: https://www.janecornwell.co.uk/

April Ekphrastic Challenge – GloPoWriMo 2021

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