Daily Haibun, August 9th – Still Standing


A voice from the past sent me reeling. On a day when I really need to accomplished and strong feeling.

So I went to my meditation trees, to regain the balance I need.

Seasons come and go

Like the flashbacks in my mind

Stand strong against them

© RedCat


Read other Haibun’s written for the monthly dVerse prompt by me here.

Read other Daily Haibun’s here.


I’m Still Standing – A Quadrille


I pause by the stand of ancient trees
Breathing shallow, beset by old nightmares
Inner demons that won’t let me be
Harmful self-thoughts that long had me ensnared
Breathing deep among trees, sets my mind free
I’m still standing, whatever was done to me

©RedCat

When I read tonight’s prompt at dVerse, a song directly popped up in my mind and I knew I had to incorporate it somehow.



I’m still standing – Lyrics

You could never know what it’s like
Your blood like winter freezes just like ice
And there’s a cold lonely light that shines from you
You’ll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use

And did you think this fool could never win?
Well look at me, I’m coming back again
I got a taste of love in a simple way
And if you need to know while I’m still standing, you just fade away

Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I’m still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I’m still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’m still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

Once I never could have hoped to win
You’re starting down the road leaving me again
The threats you made were meant to cut me down
And if our love was just a circus, you’d be a clown by now

You know I’m still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I’m still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I’m still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’m still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

Don’t you know that I’m still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I’m still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I’m still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’m still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’m still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’m still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’m still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’m still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

Source: Musixmatch
Writers: John Elton / Taupin Bernard J P
Lyrics to: I’m Still Standing © Hst Publishing Ltd., Rouge Booze, Inc.


Image credits

First: Photo by veeterzy on Unsplash

Second: Photo by Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash

Daily Haibun, August 4th – Whisper and Echoes


My mind is full of whispers and echoes. One inner saboteur saying an unkind nearly true thing. The rest of the choir chiming in with their own versions. Until it’s a cacophony swirling around.

It’s been like this as long as I can remember. I both long for and dread achievements. For they start such storms inside. Such deep self-doubt and loathing. I never learned to feel a sense of accomplishment. I never got told anything was good enough. I was always found lacking.

I’ve done my darnedest best to ignore this for most of my life. But that have made it louder not made it go away. I’ve met with derision when I tried to talk about it. Who doesn’t take pride in achievements?

Going forward I know, my mind and feelings are the biggest hurdles to overcome. The most likely thing to trip me up is ME.

But I’m done being ashamed of having learnt to be ashamed of everything about myself. And those that can’t handle that is no friends of mine.

A storm is brewing

Dark clouds roiling and rumbling

Waiting for a spark

© RedCat



Read other Haibun’s written for the monthly dVerse prompt by me here.

Read other Daily Haibun’s here.


New Growth – After “Roots” by Frida Kahlo

“Roots” 1943 by Frida Kahlo

A glimmer of hope and faith
Let’s seeds of hope germinate
Growing tender shoots
Sending out questing roots
Searching for purchase in the arid plain
Watered by tears of grief and pain


Growing stronger each day
As the soul realizes she may
Free the muses to let creativity flow
Allow faith in budding ability to grow
Trust in the Goddess boon
Receive nourishment from sun and moon


Evolve according to the season
Follow the heart’s bright beacon
Until passion sings in the blood
Flowing freely, transforming the lifeless mud
Into rich and fertile earth
Where a scarred soul might find rebirth

©RedCat


Inspired by “Roots” by Frida Kahlo and written for this week’s Sunday Muse.

I’m so happy to get a chance to write to an artist whose artwork and life story has always inspired me greatly.

Also shared with the Writers’ Pantry at Poets and Storytellers United, and Promote Yourself Monday at Go Dog Go Café.


Photo credits in descending order

Photo by Russ Ward on Unsplash

Photo by Christian Joudrey on Unsplash

Firework by Katy Perry – Saturday Song

Firework by Katy Perry

After writing both As I Reap The Dreams That I Have Sown and August Approaches yesterday, I decided that tonight’s Saturday Song had to be one about overcoming obstacles, adversity, challenges and hard times. About not giving up, even when that’s all you feel like doing. I found this list of songs about all that. So I started to read lyrics and the choice fell on Firework by Katy Perry

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards, one blow from cavin’ in?
Do you ever feel already buried deep?
Six feet under screams, but no one seems to hear a thing

From Firework by Katy Perry

I know exactly how that feels. But now I have to get away from that, find my voice, develop my passion and allow my light to shine bright.

Enjoy!



Firework – Lyrics

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards, one blow from cavin’ in?
Do you ever feel already buried deep?
Six feet under screams, but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there’s still a chance for you?
‘Cause there’s a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

‘Cause baby, you’re a firework
Come on, show ’em what you’re worth
Make ’em go, “Oh, oh, oh”
As you shoot across the sky
Baby, you’re a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make ’em go, “Oh, oh, oh”
You’re gonna leave ’em all in awe, awe, awe

You don’t have to feel like a waste of space
You’re original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow
Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it’s time, you’ll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

‘Cause baby, you’re a firework
Come on, show ’em what you’re worth
Make ’em go, “Oh, oh, oh”
As you shoot across the sky
Baby, you’re a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make ’em go, “Oh, oh, oh”
You’re gonna leave ’em all in awe, awe, awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It’s always been inside of you, you, you
And now it’s time to let it through

‘Cause baby, you’re a firework
Come on, show ’em what you’re worth
Make ’em go, “Oh, oh, oh”
As you shoot across the sky
Baby, you’re a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make ’em go, “Oh, oh, oh”
You’re gonna leave ’em all in awe, awe, awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Source: LyricFind
Song writers: Esther Dean, Sandy Julien Wilhelm, Tor Erik Hermansen, Mikkel Storleer Eriksen, Katheryn Hudson
Lyric to Firework © Peermusic Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc, BMG Rights Management, DistroKid
Firework by Katy Perry

Firework photo credit: Photo by Ray Hennessy on Unsplash

Solitude and I (2020 Re-post)

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Abandoned and abused, I grew to fear you
But in truth, I where reared by you

Bullied as other, ostracized by my peers
Alone with daily jeers, leers and snears
Childhood and adolescence, year after year
Branding me as strange and queer

Yours the only company to keep me near
Convincing me I’m a mere shadow
Not really alive, not supposed to be here

Developed intimate knowledge of all your tiers
As loneliness you have tooth and claws that tear
Lead chains that trust steer
Forged by every untruth spear
Betrayal heart and soul sear
Invisible barriers separating, from those you hold dear

Dark lonely nights your visits I fear
Haunted hours filled with tears
Leaving me hollow and sheer
As pale dawn washes the heavens clear

After becoming a mother, I’ve started to befriend you, we’re
Old pals, whatever the history, that’s clear
Nowadays I even hold our moments dear
Filled with new knowledge, hope and trust
I’ll never again from my own side veer

All that I seek
I can find within my own heart soul sphere

© REDCAT

Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

Re-post comment:

Loneliness has been much on my mind and in my feelings the last couple of weeks. Both the kind is need and seek. And the kind that can make me feel wholly alone in a room full of people.

So this poem is this week’s archive find.

Enjoy!



This piece where not something I wished to write, but perhaps needed to write, as whatever I thought about the subject solitude – that I express both it and loneliness quite often – got drowned out by this piece rhymes running in loops in my mind.

In the prompt Björn writes;
In today’s situation of social distancing, we all have taken a crash course in loneliness, and when learning to cope. Today I would like you to write about your own experience with how you find strength in solitude or how you still struggle with loneliness.


There’s A Rumor – MLMM, Wordle 251


There’s a rumor among the critics and saboteurs in my head
Petrifying my scarred heart
Running icy tendrils down my neck
Designed to make the little girl inside all verklempt

Because the paralysing nightshade poison of the rumor has been proven true
This girl has never been like the neurotypical you

Ostracization and isolation leaves wounds in our energetic bodies
Removing peel by peel of everything you thought true
Providing constant suction on the life force
Until it’s so low, you start thinking death is a viable option

But don’t jump off that bridge just yet
No life’s fate is in stone set
Hidden among the neurodiversity are your secret weapons
An armory full to keep you safe whatever happens

©RedCat


Written for Wordle #251 at Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie

Suction
Death
Bridge
Petrify
Nightshade
Neck
Peel
Weapon
Little
Bodies
Rumor
Verklempt- overly emotional and unable to speak.



I’ve touched upon this before. Both with hints and straight out like in, Another Piece of the Puzzle – A Puente Poem. I apparently have Adhd/Add and ASD/AST.

Some days it makes me furiously angry to be diagnosed this late in life, due to the fact that I’m female and do not fit typically into either diagnosis. Other days I feel immensely sad for the little girl who never understood at all why she couldn’t fit in however much she tried.

Some days it feels like a brand forever excluding me from friendship and love. Other days I realize a lot of my strengths stem from my neurodiversity. My very quick witted mind which others both adore and dislike. My propensity for thinking very deeply about things, which has enabled me to write insightful business reports and papers and allows me to write poetry that touches the hearts of others.

Wrote this to allow myself and others the knowledge that the struggle is real. But that each of us have value and worth. And all of us are deserving to be loved for those we are!

If you yourself are struggling, or know someone who is. Encourage them to get help. To talk to someone. Or drop a line to me either in the comment section or to the mail address you’ll find in the about page.


I’ve Been Stuck


I’ve been stuck
Going neither forward nor back
Running in circles
Trapped in this inbetween space
Waiting for change
Lost in this way station place

Stationary, yet running around
Collecting stationery, but never writing a line
Screaming myself hoarse
Unable to harness my creative force
Muse hiding, afraid of more abuse
Shying away, like a spooked horse, whenever anyone got near

Now a path has opened, vivid and clear
My inner Goddess always near

I found out, you see
I’m willing to fight doubt and monsters to be free

©RedCat


Inspired by some reawakened inner turmoil and three different prompts. Sammi Cox’s weekend writing prompt. This weekend’s given word is vivid, and the word count is 89 words. Mindlovemisery’s double take, where the homophones horse and stationary are given. And this Wednesday’s scribbling, waystation, at Poets and Storytellers United, which I missed so posting to the Writers’ Pantry instead.


Homophone sets:

horse – animal
hoarse – lack of voice

and

stationery – pen, paper, envelope etc.
stationary – still, unmoving


Photo by Dan Asaki on Unsplash

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