Seeds – A Quadrille

The artwork Perpetual repercussion by Dyveke Sanne, over the Svalbard Global Seed Vault entrance.
Martyn Smith from London, England, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Sow love and friendship giving seeds
Uproot energy stealing weeds

Nurture that which creativity breeds
Scale away all that negativity breeds

Grow roots that fulfill your needs
Show thankfulness for caring deeds

Follow paths that to growth leads
Sow hope and dream fostering seeds


Written for tonight’s Planting Seeds Quadrille prompt at dVerse.

Read other Quadrilles by me here.

Intense Meditation, week 4

© RedCat

This week in group we where taught a Mindfulness technique called
3 – 2 – 1, it can be done sitting or walking, eyes open or closed, and as so many other meditation tools for the beginner it’s easier achieved sitting still with eyes closed. So we start there until we can do it more freely.

It’s purpose is to soothe and calm an overactive mind.

Here’s how to do 3 – 2 – 1

State, silently or aloud, three things you See, Hear and Feel (as in perceive with a sense).
Then two things of each.
Then one.

Breath calm, deep and even during. Though the focus here is not breath but the world around.

I see purple tulips. I see rain drops. I see a stack of books.
I hear the sound of typing. I hear birds singing. I hear the sound of wind.
I feel the warmth of my sweater. I feel the chill spring air trough the window.

I feel the wood floor beneath my feet.

I see purple tulips. I see a stack of books.
I hear birds singing. I hear the sound of wind.
I feel the warmth of my sweater. I feel the chill spring air trough the window.

I see purple tulips.
I hear birds singing.
I feel the chill spring air trough the window.

I have found this tool to work quite well, especially done in nature, but then all forms of meditation is easier for me there. Even writing a version now made me way more mindful and present in the current moment.

© RedCat

After four weeks meditating several times daily, it feels like a habit has formed, that I’ve completed the first step on the path. Now I’m looking forward to finding out what the next step is.

Intense Meditation, Week 1
Intense Meditation, Week 2
Intense Meditation, Week 3


The attentive might notice, way more than four week’s have now gone since the first post. When I started this series, I envisioned meditating this intensely, mening around three hours per day, for the duration of the eight week – Compassion Mind Training – and writing a post for each week.

Then corona virus SARS-CoV2 causing the illness Covid-19 pandemic hit the world. And everyone’s lives changed. Including cancellation of all
non-essential treatments to lighten the load on the health care system.

I’m happy and heartfelt grateful for having managed to make meditation a routine before the pandemic, and I’m proud to say I still meditate daily. It might not cure PTSD or clinical depression, but it helps to cope with both.

Going forward I plan to set up a page to gather my resources on Compassion Focused Therapy and meditation. I will also keep writing posts about my own experience and path. Reviews of tools, techniques, teachers, books and other resources. And share the insights I gather on the way.

The road might be long and windy,
but with will and intention
we can make the journey the point,
not an unforeseeable future goal.

Coronavirus: The good that can come out of an upside-down world – BBC News

Our world has changed immensely in the last few weeks but amid the upheaval and distress, there are reasons to believe we can emerge from the crisis with some human qualities enhanced, writes Matthew Syed.
The coronavirus has turned our lives upside down and, although we hope to return to some version of normality in the coming months, it is probable that nothing will quite be the same again. Many have lost their livelihoods and businesses, and there is no diminishing the difficulties - emotional and financial - this has brought in its wake.

But amid the darkness, there are also opportunities.

Opportunities to reimagine the world and one's place within it. Reversal techniques are typically used by people working in the creative industries to come up with new products or innovations. I wonder if we can all use it to seek out a silver lining or two amid the grey clouds.

Read the rest of the article here.

Matthew Syed is the author of Rebel Ideas: the Power of Diverse Thinking

Drawings by Emma Lynch.

I don’t know why.

But taking this crisis to grow and evolve a better world,

are for me the only option.

Do you agree?

Photo by Brett Sayles on

January – February wrap

© RedCat

Midwinter, new years, without winter, the dark felt endless.
Winter solstice, seasonal introspection, renewed will, intent to change.
Birch Moon, lights return, energies thaw, chance to learn, to grow.
Realisation dawns, emotions poured out on page,
stay there, take hold, are felt by others.
Lonely, yet cared for. Nearly friendless, yet surrounded by love and empathy.

February. Coldest month of year – warmest ever.
If the snow hasn’t fallen now – spare us a late March one.
Quickening Moon, first glimpses of spring to come.
Know beating depression requires change. Self-faith.
No reading have ever gotten me there.
Can a compassionate conscious breath be the answer?

Writing now a habit, daily practice, to pour onto paper.
Turn life, love, thoughts, ideas, to poetry, or lately,
maybe even fictionalized scenes here or there.
And all you who read this, have help a seed germinate.
Slowly belief – I have a special way with words – are taking root.

Your kind, loving feedback means so much. ❤️

© RedCat

Finding hope

This weeks eartweal prompt had to do with finding hope. And even though my mind keeps spinning around the subject in all its forms, nothing coalesce and really takes shape. More work required obviously, not only on the poetry, but on my inner ability to feel hope.

To distract myself I searched for hope in my previous poetry and found some insights.
Hope is a recurring theme of mine, I’ve even written a hopeful mantra. And judging by the comments others find hope in my pieces. 

If I’m honest, some days I feel in desperate need of the smallest spark of hope, so I put hope in my poetry precisely because that is one of the things I seek.

By now, I’m meditating and doing breath-work on a level I never have before. It’s rough, as meditation have always been for me. I’ve cried rivers every day. And one thing have become abundantly clear. The old inner safe place I actually once had is in total ruin. I have no access anymore, it’s like I’m looking at reproduction in a display cabinet in a museum.

I’m sure I’ll be able to build another in time. But for now all my hope comes from writing my heart out, connecting through poetry, and continued meditation.

Once I couldn’t breathe

Panic-attack by George Grie

Once I couldn’t breathe. Lungs felt constricted, small. Deep breaths weren’t possible. With shallow breath, came fear, panic. It could strike anytime, anywhere. Panic-attacks really can feel like dying. You can’t breathe, heart beats painfully, reality narrows down to a gauntlet of worst nightmares.

I became obsessed with avoiding. Perpetually on my watch, fearful of anything that awoke the panic. Eventually I became a nervous wreck, who couldn’t face public commuting, certain neighborhoods or going to my childhood small-town.
Life dwindled.

One day, a wise woman, asked how my breath was. First the question made little sense, but eventually I realized I didn’t breathe deep, with my stomach. The way I learned as a singer. Retraining, I discovered a connection with true-self, a path to less stress.
Possibility of self-love.
My voice.

There are moments between heart-beats.
Between breaths.
Wherein lies lifes true meaning.

© RedCat

I’m back to turning my life into prose or poetry. Here in just 144 words, I try to tell how full fledged anxiety and/or PTSD induced panic-attacks feel, what they do to you, and what I found to help me.

This is also much on my mind since I’m back to doing breath-exercises. It seems I have more to learn in this area too. Especially relating to breathing, meditating and self-compassion.

Posted in response to Prosery: Between Heartbeats.

Breathe deep, Breathe slow

Close your eyes
Breathe deep
Breathe slow
Go to that wholly safe inner place

Relax there
Breathe deep
Breathe slow
Remain safe and secure in your sanctum
There are moments between breaths
There are moments between heart-beats

Steady yourself
Breathe deep
Breathe slow
Size the moments betwixt and between
Attune yourself to that innermost voice
That force of true self

Be present
Breathe deep
Breathe slow
Discover your inner light
The divine spirit.
Guiding inborn radiance

Bask in sunlight
Breathe deep
Breathe slow
Release all your pain, suffering, struggle
Find solace in compassionate safety

Be safe
Breathe deep
Breathe slow
Fortify yourself for the journey ahead
Ground yourself in wisdom and faith
Know your inner worth, strength, love, kindness

Be you
Breathe deep
Breathe slow
Make your peace with the ego-materialistic modern society
Realize, living your true self will be seen
as the most dangerous thoughts of all


I’ve written before about my current depression, and my fight to get real help. The machine of Swedish mental healthcare are, let’s say glacial, in it’s pace, and tend to favour pills over therapy.

Even so, while pondering which approach to therapy they might grant me. They asked if I’d participate in group Compassion-focused therapy (CFT). And I said yes, so now I’ll do eight weeks of CFT. So far, beyond trying to explain our emotion regulation systems, it’s mostly been light meditation and breath work. Which stand as inspiration for this piece.

I’ll be back to the subject of compassion and CFT later.

This weeks earthweal prompt has to do with finding hope. And even though my mind keeps spinning around the subject in all its forms, nothing coalesce and really takes shape. More work required obviously.
So instead I wrote about what helps me feel hope right now, which is meditation and breath-work.

Also posted to Tuesday Writing Prompt Challenge–February 18, 2020.

Walking Cliché


I often feel like a walking cliché
Head high, shoulders back
No trauma damage to see
Told to hide hurt
Persuaded to be, not me
Conceal truth or others will see

Year on years
I used the persona as a shield
Tried to persuade myself
Eventually it would become real
But it’s a hollow construct of bits of me
Not the whole good and bad
Full moon blooded
Goddess blessed priestess
Chaos complexity
Complete woman



Written for Weekly Scribblings #6: Turn Cliché into Poetry or Prose.

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