Another Piece of the Puzzle – A Puente Poem


Always felt other and wrong
Never truly felt like I belong
Never felt unencumbered and free
Allowed to just be me
Perpetual cycles of pain and abuse
Always guessing which persona mask to use
Living with nagging doubt, maybe I’m just insane

~Can a diagnosis everything explain~

Help me to equilibrium gain
Teach me what I need to know
To at functioning life have a go
Give me hope of fitting in
Break my minds eternal tailspin
Show me how to reach good mental health
Allow me to fully use my minds idea wealth

©RedCat

Sitting here wondering if I really dare to post this. Afraid to expose myself. Afraid to overshare. Afraid to be rejected once more. At the same time feeling like I need to share how much upheaval there is right now. And why. 

I’ve had bouts of depression on and off through life. And I’ve been told to view them and every other issue as stemming from the abuse I’ve gone through. That my struggles depend on that only and if I can somehow overcome them I will be as everyone else. 

Cue a new psychologist.

Who started to ask questions I’ve never got before. Who administered not just the really short screening tests (that apparently typically don’t catch female sufferers) but longer fuller tests that screen for Adhd/Add and Autism spectrum disorder. The last months have been test upon test. There are a few left but the first of the two is by now a given, the second one in some kind of high functioning way very probable.

I don’t know how to feel about either. And I don’t know if it will really help in any practical way.


I’m still me, as I’ve always been. 

Will this alter others’ perspective of me?


Written in the Puente form for tonight’s Poetics: Build a Bridge at dVerse. 

Rhyme scheme: aabbccd d deeffgg


Shadow People Before My Eyes – A Triple Triolet, April Ekphrastic Challenge

Kerfe Roig

Shadow people before my eyes
Drifting aimlessly through their lives
Foggy as rainy crying skies
Shadow people before my eyes
Fading as sorrow’s darkness rise
Remembering just negatives
Shadow people before my eyes
Drifting aimlessly through their lives

Nobody holds then as they cry
No one a kind helping hand gives
Sorrow without friends multiply
Nobody holds then as they cry
Nobody these souls fortify
They are dark depressions captives
Nobody holds then as they cry
No one a kind helping hand gives

Shadow people before my eyes
What can get then to see bright life
Fading away ‘til their souls dies
Shadow people before my eyes
Unable to see the blue skies
Lost without finding hope inside
Shadow people before my eyes
What can get then to see bright life

©RedCat

I’m half a month early, but this one is written for Mental Health Awareness Month. A way to show that there are a lot of people out there who suffer from depression, and do so thinking and feeling they are all alone. Because that is part of how depression works, isolating us from the rest of the world.

But you are not alone! There is help to get!

For many there are loved ones that would like nothing better than to give help, support and love. And if you don’t have loved ones who care, there is support and help to get, from others who have suffered as you do and from professionals.
But you have to reach out or open up just a little bit for them to know you need help. And that I know from personal experience is not always an easy thing.


Writing a triple triolet as in Trapped, Imprisoned In Her Own Mind, was so fun and challenging enough that I just had to do it again. Because that way it feels like you get a chance to make the triolet go somewhere and not just be a repetitive poem stuck in one place.

To see all art and read all poetry for today go to The Wombwell Rainbow.


Kerfe Roig

A resident of New York City, Kerfe Roig enjoys transforming words and images into something new.  Her poetry and art have been featured online by Right Hand PointingSilver Birch PressYellow Chair ReviewThe song is…Pure HaikuVisual VerseThe Light EkphrasticScribe BaseThe Zen Space, and The Wild Word, and published in Ella@100Incandescent MindPea River JournalFiction International: Fool, Noctua Review, The Raw Art Review, and several Nature Inspired anthologies. Follow her explorations on her blogs, https://methodtwomadness.wordpress.com/  (which she does with her friend Nina), and https://kblog.blog/, and see more of her work on her website http://kerferoig.com/

April Ekphrastic Challenge – GloPoWriMo 2021

On the Edge

Trigger warning!
Photo by Spencer Selover from Pexels

Constantly shifting and parrying
One small misstep
Is all it takes to fall
When you are
On the edge

A thin line betwixt darknesses
The only light tread
In this weave of nightmares
Bright hope is scarce
When you are
On the edge

Unending battles and skirmishes
No path to ceasefire
Scraped raw, skinless
When you are clinging
To a sharp edge

Trapped in loops of the past
Shackled by demons
No space to break free
When you are balancing
On the edge

Blind to joy, trust, peace
Deaf to caring words and hearts
Mute the screams, silence the tears, hide the pain
Drowning in a well of sadness
Unable to reach out or be reached
When you are living
On the edge

©RedCat

Written for myself and others I care for. Who like me is battling depression, old trauma wounds and mental health issues.

I wanted to share how it feels to live on that edge. When the edge is all there seems to be. When there is no light on the horizon. That’s why there’s a trigger warning. Because from that place you don’t feel hope. Can’t imagine a happy ending.

Another poem about edges I written is – After.


Photo by Tom Verdoot from Pexels

Shared with dVerse — Poetics — Edges and Fringes.

Where tonight’s mission, should we choose to accept it, is to spark on one of these paths:

  1. Write a poem using the word edge;
  2. Write a poem that keeps Millikin’s question above in mind.
  3. Write a poem using the word fringe;
  4. Write a poem from the fringe, however you define it.

Obviously I choose number 1.


Photo by Daniela Constantini from Pexels

Bad day (2019 Re-post)

© RedCat

Bad day
You know it by the thousand mile stare
The one I get caught in when not actively concentration on anything
Alone, looking at the world through glass
Days that quantum physics assert the worlds just an illusion
Nothing really reaches me
Yet, I feel perpetual sorrow
Aching loneliness

Bad night
You know it by the introvert behavior
The one I show when feeling unsafe, unconnected, unloved
Seemingly at ease, but constant vigilant
Nights when the dark is comforting and hiding creeping menace
Nothing really catches my attention
Diversions only a source of stress
I walk to and fro without aim or results

© RedCat

Re-post comment:
Plagued by the black dog of depression. I nearly convinced myself to skip Wandering the Archives Wednesday.
Until I realized that’s how it always goes. I tell myself really unkind things. And go further into darkness.

So here’s a poem about just how bad such days are.

If you’re suffering. Know you’re not alone. That there is no shame!

Everyone is worthy of LOVE!!! ❤️


Black Dog of Depression

State of Depression – January Ekphrastic Challenge, January 13

Kerfe Roig – Clarity

Many faceted kaleidoscopic gem
Sparkling all wavelengths of light
Fiery passion interlaced with dark mayhem
Light and dark in a perpetual fight

Sparkling all wavelengths of light
Complex weave, carefully crafted hologram
Light and dark in a perpetual fight
Between bright joy and dank sorrows dam

Complex weave, carefully crafted hologram
Hiding behind social media. All’s fine!
Between bright joy and dank sorrows dam
Secretly thinking about hastening lifes deadline

Hiding behind social media. All’s fine!
Feeling there’s neither love nor care to find
Secretly thinking about hastening lifes deadline
Stuck in a flashback looping mind

Feeling there’s neither love nor care to find
Bullied to believe there’s shame to authentically be
Secretly thinking about hastening lifes deadline
Despairing of hope to ever fly free

Bullied to believe there’s shame to authentically be
Not knowing the peace of safe love
Despairing of hope to ever fly free
Searching for the guidance of a Phoenix dove

Not knowing the peace of safe love
Fiery passion interlaced with dark mayhem
Searching for the guidance of a Phoenix dove
Many faceted kaleidoscopic gem

©RedCat

Today’s poem is inspired by all three pieces of art. It’s an effort to put words on how it is to live with depression, complex PTSD, and every other traumatic rewiring of my mind.

Written in one of those interwoven forms I like so much – Pantoum. This is the first time I’ve written a longer version than the standard four verses. At first I did not intend a Pantoum, but after having written the first four stanzas (or first verse) I realized that’s where I was going. Neither did I intend a long one. That happened due to flow, rhythm, stanzas enough to make it a coherent whole.

Read Leaves Fall to Moulder, Come Poets Hope – A chant or another of my Pantoums.

To read all poems for today go to The Wombwell Rainbow.


Christine O’connor
Marcel Herms

A Dutch visual artist. He is also one of the two men behind the publishing house Petrichor. Freedom is very important in the visual work of Marcel Herms. In his paintings he can express who he really is in complete freedom. Without the social barriers of everyday life.
There is a strong relationship with music. Like music, Herms’ art is about autonomy, freedom, passion, color and rhythm. You can hear the rhythm of the colors, the rhythm of the brushstrokes, the raging cry of the pencil, the subtle melody of a collage. The figures in his paintings rotate around you in shock, they are heavily abstracted, making it unclear what they are doing. Sometimes they look like people, monsters, children or animals, or something in between. Sometimes they disappear to be replaced immediately or to take on a different guise. The paintings invite the viewer to join this journey. Free-spirited.

He collaborates with many different authors, poets, visual artists and audio artists from around the world and his work is published by many different publishers.

www.marcelherms.nl

www.uitgeverijpetrichor.nl
Christine O’Connor

Is an artist working in glass, metal, fibre and paint. Sometimes her work is based on photographs, but more often, she creates in the moment. She loves to play with texture and colour.

Christine O'Connor
Kerfe Roig

A resident of New York City, Kerfe Roig enjoys transforming words and images into something new.  Her poetry and art have been featured online by Right Hand PointingSilver Birch PressYellow Chair ReviewThe song is…Pure HaikuVisual VerseThe Light EkphrasticScribe BaseThe Zen Space, and The Wild Word, and published in Ella@100Incandescent MindPea River JournalFiction International: Fool, Noctua Review, The Raw Art Review, and several Nature Inspired anthologies. Follow her explorations on her blogs, https://methodtwomadness.wordpress.com/  (which she does with her friend Nina), and https://kblog.blog/, and see more of her work on her website http://kerferoig.com/
Marcel Herms – Hip Priest



Nightly Travel Track – January Ekphrastic Challenge, January 7

Kerfe Roig – Acquainted with the night close

Inky black, her nightly travel track
Hopelessness all luminescence lack
Ancient lore, by all who has gone before
Depression’s demons lonely souls adore
Cold sorrow, haunting dreams of tomorrow
Unloved child, cutting pain in bone and marrow

Fiery passion, smothered without compassion
No freedom to create in whatever fashion
Bright love, fading to embers without the care it behooves
Lost without the moon’s brightness above
Hope dart, as sudden kindness heal a hurt heart
Stars glimmer as dark clouds depart

Warm trust, swells in the arms of lust
Surrender to soul guidance we must
Sunrise’s clarion call, there’s hope for us all
Chance to rise again after a fall
Fear ended, trauma shattered mind mended
Rise like a true abuse ascender

©RedCat

Paul Brookes of the Wombwell Rainbow is hosting a special January ekphrastic challenge.
Today is Day 1.

Thank you, Paul.

My poem today responds to Kerfe Roig’s image, “Acquainted with the night close.”

Kerfe Roig

A resident of New York City, Kerfe Roig enjoys transforming words and images into something new.  Her poetry and art have been featured online by Right Hand PointingSilver Birch PressYellow Chair ReviewThe song is…Pure HaikuVisual VerseThe Light EkphrasticScribe BaseThe Zen Space, and The Wild Word, and published in Ella@100Incandescent MindPea River JournalFiction International: Fool, Noctua Review, The Raw Art Review, and several Nature Inspired anthologies. Follow her explorations on her blogs, https://methodtwomadness.wordpress.com/  (which she does with her friend Nina), and https://kblog.blog/, and see more of her work on her website http://kerferoig.com/

From Nadir to Zenith – last poem of 2020

FurryTiger, CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Mummified alive by cobwebs of lies and deceit
Numbed until she couldn’t see it
Spider poison talking in her ears
Corroded until her heart knew new only fear
Hiding within a surreptitious poised shell
Her soul walked the cold and lonely paths of hell
In concentric circles further and further away from herself
Until one day a peddler in a wolf pelt
Traded a scarlet apple for a rhyme
One bite, her being rang with creative passions chime
Hands writing forbidden poetry until frozen fingers paper crumble
Feets choreographing forms until they bled and stumble
There is nowhere for the petite rodent to hide her bright light
Her pointy shoes rap-tap-ratting in their flight
She sings with newly found voice
Creative suffering my life choice
For love I’ll walk through fire
Reify my heart’s hidden desires
Travel from dark nadir to bright zenith
Rise from the ashes like a newborn Phoenix

©RedCat

Willermoz.es, CC BY-SA 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/, via Wikimedia Commons

There really wasn’t time. Right now I should socialize and talk the night away. Instead I’m alone, polishing the last poem of the year. I felt it important to write one last piece. A piece of rebirth and renewal. So I searched for inspiration and found it in #skyloverwordlist.

The petit rat was something I just learned about watching Tiny Pretty Things.

Also shared with Open Link Night over at dVerse and earthweal open link weekend

Happy New Year!

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