In group this week we got introduced to finding and/or meeting our inner Compassionate Self, who are signified by acceptance and kindness, non-judgment, stability and strength, warmth and wisdom. Or in other words, to find that inner archetype, open communication with that higher inner Self.
We we’re given home work to read every day for a week. I managed two times. This exercise is as hard for me as the Safe Space meditations.
Today I went back to it, putting on my bedroom wall, where seeing will become reading. So I can approach it slowly over time, instead of not doing it, because it gives a PTSD inducing, trauma connected reaction.
I also stole myself a few minutes alone, so I could talk about an insight around the reason for getting panicky when meditating, or drop down tiered after yoga. (More about that in a coming post.) It goes against open honesty within the therapy group, but since several of the participants have shown the reaction I know so well, I thought it better not to upset the pot.
I’ve mentioned journaling combined with meditation before, and as of last week I have a Meditation Journal. So far it contains some Compassion Focused Therapy theory, notes from a meditation podcast, some meditation tools, meditation inspired poetry, and most importantly I note how my practice is going, how it affects me, thoughts and insights.
I’ve kept meditating 2-3 times a day, so most mornings, a walk during the day, and going to bed at night. The last one especially have helped me. I no longer toss and turn for hours, or need to resort to sleep medication, which leaves you muddled the next day.
Intense Meditation, Week 1
Intense Meditation, Week 2
The road might be long and windy,
but with will and intention
we can make the journey the point,
not an unforeseeable future goal.